Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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