I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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