Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
