so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
