I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
