love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I need water and some morals
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
