I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I have grass duct taped all over my body
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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