this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
