piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dick very happy bro
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize