As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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