dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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