I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
