Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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