i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
