I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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