I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life