I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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