did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You may now shotgun with the bride
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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