Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
