My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
