my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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