$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
