either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
