either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
