Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize