Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize