Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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