So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
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If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
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I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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