Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
