So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
