I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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