forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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