I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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