I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
