The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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