I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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