i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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