Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
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we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
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Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
my poor anus
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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