I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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