Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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