i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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