I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
