I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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