I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I don't deserve a penis
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize