The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
as a side note pls kill me
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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