I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
