wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
