I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dignity is for republicans.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
