On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
