she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
