I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This baby is an asshole
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
