i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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