Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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