would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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